Date Crasher
by Mario Quade
Summary: Ted, Barney & co. try to prevent Castle and Beckett from making great mistakes.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
>WARNING: This story contains a few spoilers for both series, mostly "Castle".<br>I wanted to ignore "Castle" forever or at least till the finale, but I had to write this story because I thought it would be a great crossover.**

"Hey, here's Alexis, Rick's daughter."

Barney was in no second completely on alert. "Is something with Rick?"

"Rick? Our Rick? What happened to him?" Lily asked out of concern.

Barney shook his head. "Okay Alexis, clam down, what is with your father?"

"Well, you know that he's in love with this detective he's following around, out whatever reason?"

"Yeah, a blind idiot could see that."

"It's our Rick." Ted and Marshall declared at the same time. Cindy was looking very confused. "Rick Castle, we know him thanks to Barney and well everyone besides him and this Detective Beckett can see that the two are head over heals in love with each other." Ted explained.

"Not accordin' to Alexis." Barney interrupted after ending the phone call.

"What?" Ted, Marshall and Lily asked at the same time.

"Well somethin' happened that made Ricky-Boy believe that she doesn't love him and now he's actin' like the man we used to know." he explained.

"The playboy is back in town?" Marshall asked.

Barney nodded. "It seems that way. But now it comes: Alexis has a internship at the morgue and the best friend of Beckett is Dr. Parish, Alexis' boss, and she overheard a conversation in which she admitted to have deeper feelings for him but also her doubts if he's in reality really the playboy he used to be and not the man she gotten used to know the past few years, basing on his recent behavior and his two failed marriages."

"That's completely shit. Moment, the two know each other for four years and she doesn't even know why his marriages failed?" Ted was completely taken aback.

"It seems that way. But please don't longer interrupt. Alexis told me that Rick has a date with a flight attendant he met on his flight back from Vegas over the weekend. She doesn't want that her father throw away his chances with Beckett and asked me for help."

"Okay and what will you do now?" Cindy asked her boyfriend.

"I don't know." And while Barney was still thinking, his phone rang again. "Robin, what is it?" After listing to his friend he was as stunned as the rest of the group was after his explanation about Rick and his present situation. "Okay, I'll met you there." He ended the phone call and stood up. "Robin has a friend in the morgue, Lanie Parish, Beckett's best friend, who asked Robin for help, cos Beckett's on a date with an hot looking British guy and she doesn't want that Beckett ruins her last chance with Rick. Robin has a plan for doing so and she needs my help. I'll be back in no time." Barney left the bar as fast he could.

"And will we do for Rick?" Lily asked concerned.

Ted was already thinking about that problem, then he was grabbing his cell. "Hey Rick, where are you, we haven't seen each other in a long time and I'm moving in a new apartment, I wanted to ask. Oh you've a date. Where are you? The China Palace, oh that's a really nice place. See you later."

The four rushed out of the bar even faster as Barney had and were on their way to the China Palace. "Okay here's the plan. Lily, you and Cindy are going to Rick and involve him into a conversation while his girlfriend isn't there. When she's coming back to the table, Marshall and I are going to intercept her, involving her in a conversation and convince her that Rick the the ultimate playboy and womanizer and that he'll go home with you two. Than I'll take her with me when she's hot enough and inaugurate my new bed with her. How does that sounds?"

"Okay, I'll ignore the last part, but the rest sounds very good." Lily said.

After reaching the China Palace it wasn't that hard to spot Rick. He was sitting near the window and was drinking wine with Jacinda, his new girlfriend. "Okay you all remember the plan?" Ted asked a last time and they entered the restaurant in the exact moment when Jacinda was leaving for the toilet.

"I think this is wrong, Ted. You remember the rules, never sleep with the chick of a bro?" Marshall asked very concerned.

"Rule one: Bro before ho. Rick loves Beckett, she seems to love him two, the two are only to shy to talk to each other, so they are jumping in bed with meaningless one night stands and destroying their chances with each other. What's better? This scenario or my own?"

"Okay, your right. But please never speak like that again, I mean like in the cab, you sounded like Barney and you're not Barney."

"Sure."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Lily and Cindy were approaching Rick's table. "Hey Rick, nice to see you again." was everything what Lily said before sitting down on the chair of Jacinda. Rick wanted to protest but Lily didn't gave him the chance to do so. "This is Cindy, Barney's new girlfriend."<p>

"Hey Rick, I'm a big fan." Cindy shook Rick's hand a little bit shy but very pleased.

Lily remembered back ten years ago, when Barney said to them (her, Marshall and Ted) that he'll introduce them to a local celebrity. When Richard Castle entered the bar a few women crowded around him and Lily tried to play cool. "Why they're all that crazy about him?" she asked with a very unstable voice anxious to suppress the want to run to this man to, in order to ask him for an autograph.

"I sought you're a big fan of him?" Ted ask suspicious.

"Yeah, but must that mean I've to run to him for getting an autograph on my chest." Lily moaned by that this phantasy.

"Sure, not a great thing." Barney said with a light laughter on his lips.

"Yes it is. I mean what is it what he has what no other man has?" she countered, but with the traitorous giggling in her voice.

Barney and Ted changed a few knowing looks while Marshall didn't seem to recognize anything. "Yeah right. I mean besides money, what does that guy has what I haven't? Besides the fact that he's older." Marshall was shooting jealous looks at Rick, who was slowly moving to their booth.

While Ted distorted his facial expression, Barney had different things in mind. "Fame, Eriksen, he has gotten fame."

Marshall was shooting a death glare at his friend as Rick approached their booth. "Hey Barney, are that your friends?"

"Yeah." Barney stood up and the eyes of the three friend widened like tennis balls. "Mates, let me introduce my mentor in womanizing, Richard Castle. Rick that's my wingman Ted, that's his flatmate Marshall and Marshall's girlfriend Lily."

Rick shook the hand of the two boys but when he stretched his hand towards Lily, she rolled her eyes in the back of her and and fall backwards down from the seats on the floor, unconscious.

Back in the present Cindy and Rick had began a conversation about Barney. "Oh, welcome back in the present." Rick commented the end of her empty starring in the space.

"Ehm, sorry. I just sought about our first meeting." she admitted.

"You mean that night in the McLaren's when you gotten unconscious after I wanted to shake your hand?" Rick smiled at her and Cindy began to laugh loudly.

* * *

><p>Jacinda came out of the bathrooms in that moment and was shocked to see her date chatting with two other woman. She realized that he was happier with them than he was with her. Their conversation weren't bad and he seemed to have fun, but something always seemed to distracted him, she thought it was his current case. Now he had fun without her, she wanted to go towards their table, when Ted and Marshall stopped her.<p>

Marshall tipped her on the should and said "Hey, have you met Ted?" after she turned around.

"Hey, I'm Ted." he smiled at her and tried to adjust his tie. "Who are you?"

"Sorry Ted, but I already have a date." she countered.

"Oh, really. I don't see any table with only one person, so is he on the toilet?"

"No, it's Rick Castle." she pointed at Rick.

"Well he seems to have great fun with these two woman sitting at his desk."

Jacinda sighed. "I know."

"Oh, they weren't there when you went to toilet?"

"No, naturally not. It's our fourth date."

"The fourth? Wow, how long have you been together, a week or two?"

"Three days?"

"Had you already sex with each other?"

"What?"

"Well you know, there's this three dates rule."

"Yeah, wait with the first kiss till the third date. We already kissed at the first."

"What means that the only thing he was after was or is sex. That's the three dates rule: When a man waits till the third date with a kiss, he's at least willing to give this relationship a try, when not and he's kissing her already on the first or second date, he's only interested in sex and when he hasn't tried that after the third date he properly changed his mind either because he is now interested in a real relationship or he doesn't longer wants to sleep with you but hasn't got the nuts to tell you."

"Are you serious about that?"

"Yeah I'm. I lived after that philosophy for a quite while and I learned it from my good friend Barney, who learned it from nobody else than Rick Castle."

Jacinda swallowed hardly. "So you mean, he isn't longer interested in me? He had to break up our fourth date because he had to go back to work, he helps the police solving crimes and we figured something out what he had to tell his colleagues."

"Okay, but what are the two chicks who are right now sitting at his table are telling you? He was properly never really interested in you as yourself but in you as a woman. How does that feel?"

"And what if? I'm a flight attendant I never made up my hopes for a real relationship. So please excuse me for going over there to get my man back."

Ted changed a fast look with Marshall, who didn't really seemed pleased with the interaction between Rick and Lily, besides their friendship. "Do you want to share him with two other woman tonight?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, he's a man and no man is missing the chance to drive trike, or like you would say, to have a threesome, with two gorgeous women. They're also not really subtle about what they want to do with him."

Jacinda turned around at that comment and saw Cindy near Rick's face, thinking that she was kissing him, while in reality she was only whispering something in his ear. "Your right, he isn't worth it. And you, what do you want here?"

"The truth? I just got out of a long term relationship and my best friend over there", he was pointing to Marshall who was smiling and waving like an idiot, "invited me for a dinner here, to get my mind away from my ex. And well after seeing you, I made up the idea of trying to flirt again. Does it work?"

"Well, you're not completely out of routine. Let me guess, you're only interested in a one night stand, right?" Ted remained silent and looked shy at the floor. Jacinda went to the coat hangers and grabbed her coat. "Where do you live, Ted?" He looked completely puzzled. "I need a little distraction, sex wouldn't be that bad."

Ted gotten a wide smile, nodded, turned around to Marshall who showed him both thumbs and soon he was outside on the street together with Jacinda. They stopped a taxi and began to kiss while getting in.

Marshall went to the table of Rick and greeted him friendly. "Hey Marshall, have you saw my date, a young blonde woman, a little bit taller than Lily, with a pink dress?"

Marshall took in a sharp breath and tried to act as good as he could. "That was your date? I saw her flirting with someone and afterward leaving the restaurant with the same guy."

His was unsure but Rick didn't seem to recognize it, instead he sighed frustrated. "Why I'm not capable to get a woman?" he asked himself out loud. "At first I had to find out that the woman who I don't love, was lying to me for a whole year and now my new girlfriend is breaking things off before they even started." he complained.

"Were you really serious about that girl?" Lily asked concerned.

"Not really, but right now I really need a distraction from Beckett, a girlfriend, nothing too serious, who is completely different than her."

"Why?" And as a response to Marshall's question Rick told them the whole story about Beckett's lie. "Okay that doesn't sound good." Marshall admitted.

"Why haven't you confronted her about her lie?" Lily wanted to know.

"What would have been the difference? She doesn't love me."

Marshall changed a short look with his wife, who nodded and then he smacked his friend on the back of his head. "A blind can see what you two feel for each other. Barney witnessed you two together and when even he's saying that two people are made for each other and completely crazy for each other too, than there has to be something between these two."

"He compared you two to me and Marshall, something what he had done with no couple before at least not in the positive light like with you two."

"This time he's wrong. And now I would like to be left alone. I'll go home, you three can have this table." With these words Rick stood up and left the restaurant.

"That hasn't worked as well as we hoped, hasn't it?" Cindy reaped two angry glares for that comment. "I think I shall leave. See you later."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Barney met Robin in the lobby of the hotel in which Colin Hunt was living. "They are still in the bar. The flight of the British guy in going in two and a half hours."<p>

"So the plan is that you distract the British guy and I distract Beckett, so that the two don't sleep together?"

"Right."

"Good idea. So come on."

Barney walked to the bar, when Robin stopped him. "You're not even asking why you should help, so what is this about?"

Barney sighed. "Beckett is according to your friend Lanie head over heals in love with Rick Castle, who's a personal friend of mine and who's head over heals in love with her two. The two are like Lily and Marshall, meant for each other. Who am I to stand in their way?" With that words he left Robin behind and approached the bar.

He sat himself down very near to Beckett, only one seat was left between them. Colin was flirting widely with her, while Beckett was definitely distracted by something as she tried to return Colin's attention.

After observing this interaction for quite a while, Barney beckoned the bartender to himself. "Can you please to something that will made this British guy get away? I want to save this woman, who's the love interest of a good friend, from a big mistake."

"Sorry mister, I can't and now go or I'll call the police."

The bartender wanted to go, but Barney got out his wallet and took out a bunch of money. "For one hundred dollar?"

"No." he grabbed his cell.

"Two hundred dollar?"

The bartender shoved his cell phone back into his pocket. "Sure Sir, I'll see what I can do."

A short time later Colin excused himself for going to the toilet. The bartender winked at Barney, who took his chance, signaling Robin to keep an eye on Colin. "Hey, I'm Barney."

"I'm not interested." Beckett countered harsh.

"Well I know that you've a date, but it seemed to my that this guy was boring you out."

"There you were wrong." Beckett hissed.

Barney couldn't believe it: this woman didn't seem to fall for his lines. "Oh, I watched the interaction from you for quite a while and you seemed half the time of it very distracted by something."

"Why do you care, Barney?" She spoke his name very threatening.

"I don't like to see a young, very sexy and beautiful woman, who's definitely a ten, gets bored at a date with an Australian guy."

"He's British." Beckett corrected him, with a smile on her lips.

"Really? He sounded more like an Australian and I work in an international company. Hence I know that accent. Maybe he lied to you?"

"Or you're just mistaken."

Barney burst out of laughing. The weird expression on Beckett's face told him, that he had distracted her and he used this chance to look for Robin. She just had stopped Colin, who came out of the toilet.

"Hey, Mr Hunt.", she greeted him.

"Do I know you?" he asked puzzled.

"I'm Robin Scherbatsky from Metro News One. I saw you on the ball in the British Embassy and I know that you're from Scotland Yard. I would love to ask you a few questions about the arrest of the Deputy General of the Embassy in regard to a murder case of a young British girl."

"From where do you've your info?" he asked suspicious.

"I've an informant in the morgue." she explained, getting out her voice recorder. "So what would you say to a little interview?"

"Well, I've only a little bit over two hours till my flight and a hot date waiting at the bar." He turned around and pointed at Beckett, who still had a conversation with Barney.

"It does seem, that she found a new date."

Colin sighed. "Okay, let us go in a quieter corner."

As the two left Beckett gotten more and more pissed by Barney's crazy and ridiculous lines, that screamed: come home with me for a one night stand (sure she was just about to have one with Colin, but he was a complete different guy than this Barney), she turned around to look for Colin only to see how he left the room with Robin.

"Seems like your date is gone, Kate."

"From whom do you have my name?" she asked afraid.

"Chill down. I'm send by your friend Lanie. She asked my friend Robin to stop you from doing a big mistake. Robin, who's a woman by herself, asked me, because I'm a master in womanizing to get you away from Colin. Seemed it worked without hitting on you." he explained with a bright smile on his face.

Beckett couldn't believe what she heard. "You say you are a master in womanizing?"

"I've a girlfriend, who just moved in with me, so no interest to sleep with you, I'm not married yet."

Beckett rolled her eyes. That guy reminded her of Rick, the Rick whom she didn't like, the playboy Rick, the one who he was at the beginning of their complicated relationship and whom she wanted to get rid of as fast as the could.

"Can I give you a ride home?" he offered, gentle, not longer pushing. He really seemed like a little Rick.

"Sure." Beckett smile was faked and even Barney could see that. When he wouldn't have been in a relationship with Cindy and Beckett wasn't taken by Rick, he would have tried everything to get Beckett in the bed. She was definitely a ten, when not a eleven, what meant she was one of the most beautiful woman he ever saw. "Do you know a Rick Castle?"

"Yeah, he trained me in picking up chicks, after my college girlfriend broke things of with me." Barney responded while leading her out of the hotel. That explained enough to Beckett.

* * *

><p>Three weeks later:<p>

"I'm done!" Ted declared out of nothing as he sat down on the chair in front of their booth at the McLaren's.

"With what?" Barney asked him surprised.

"With picking up every single woman Rick tries to hitch on. I'm always on the run, thanks to this I'm near of losing my job, thanks to Alexis' calls during readings that makes me running out of them to prevent Rick's dates. But the worst is that my stamina is giving up." Ted complained, angrily, very very angrily.

"Wow Ted, with that I declare you to a woman. Sorry, I think Marshall and I need to search a new male bro, after getting a new female one."

"Barney", Ted hissed, "in the last 22 days I had 15 times sex, with every woman Rick ever asked out for a date. On every first date I interrupted and took the woman home with me. This is annihilating me."

"15 times in 22 days? You broke my record of having sex with 14 women in 21 days. Shit!"

"Barney." Ted's voice became even more threatening. "Hopefully for you, you did the same thing with Beckett that Lily and Marshall did with Rick."

"And that would've been what?" Barney asked puzzled.

"Telling her that Rick loves her, we did it the other way around with Rick." Lily answered.

"Didn't worked out." Marshall commented that, for what Ted send him a death glare.

"Oh that, no I haven't."

"Barney!" Everybody on the table said his name, even Cindy, while he was drinking his beer.

"What?"

"Why?" Again everybody said the same word at the same time.

"Why what?"

"Barney, my penis might losing his stamina, my legs still have theirs." Ted was threatening.

"What does that mean?" Barney had no idea what Ted meant.

"That I can still run." With these words both jumped out of their seats and were running in the direction of the back entrance, Barney in front.

* * *

><p>A little while later Ted appeared in the 12th precinct to speak with Beckett. "Detective Beckett?" he asked as he approached her desk.<p>

Beckett sat in front of a hill of paper work. "Who are you?" Her voice said that she was near tears.

"I'm Ted Mosby." he answered a little bit unsure. "I'm here to talk to you about a common friend."

"And should that be?" She wasn't looking up from her paper work.

"Richard Castle."

That name made her looking up. "Well there are you wrong informed. We were friends but just a few hours ago he broke our friendship off." With these words the first tears were running down Beckett's cheeks.

Ted swallowed hard but decided to go through with his plan. "The reason for that is that he loves you but thinks that you don't love him and he can't stand to be near to you. And now woman up and go to him, say that you love him too, because we both know that this is the truth, and when you don't do it I'll do it out of an easy reason: He's a great guy and it wont will take long for another woman to recognize that and I can't do that what I did the last three weeks, picking the girls away while he's on his first date with them." With these words Ted went away and prayed to god, that his plan had worked.

* * *

><p>Two days later:<p>

"It seems as if you don't longer have to go after Rick or have you just given up?" Barney asked Ted when they met again at the McLaren's.

"The first one. Seemingly his injuries that he got by following this other Detective around made him realize what he has with Beckett."

"Hopefully. By the way I have to show you something." Barney grabbed into his pocket and showed Ted a diamond ring. "What do you think?"

"Barney, you know how important you're to me and that you're my bro, but I just can't marry you." Ted said with a grin.

Barney looked pissed at this reaction. "I mean if you think that this ring will please Cindy." he rumbled.

"Yes I think it will. But are you really sure about this? I mean you two moved together one and a half month ago and you two are only together since three months, isn't it a little bit early for a proposal?"

"No, I don't think so." Barney put the ring back into his pocket. "Have you send a get well card to Rick?"

"Yeah, from what I heard Beckett spend a lot of time with him after this event. Hopefully the two will finally talk about their problems."

"And when not, the men in this city have gotten a great gift with a single Beckett." Ted shot his friend a death glare. "Come on bro, she's a eleven. Peace high five?" Barney kept up his arm and Ted gave him his high five, unwillingly.

**I don't like angst, but I had no idea how write this differently, hence I'm very sorry for those who read this and also don't like angst.**


End file.
